June of last year ushered in a substantial change that crippled my family’s unity. We no longer played together as a family. When my son had soccer games, there was an empty space next to me where my husband would normally sit.
Earlier that month my husband was a passenger in a car that struck and killed two people (one a child). The victims ran across the road without checking traffic.
At first my husband seemed fine. Then I would wake up in the middle of the night to discover his side of the bed vacant and cold. When his nightmares began, I would find him sitting at the kitchen table staring at the wall.
He started a routine of going in to work late. His performance began to slip, and then he started calling in sick with a cold when he didn’t really have one. He eventually lost his job. He would rarely go outside, and didn’t even spend time in any rooms of our home other than our bedroom and his den.
Depression and anxiety go hand in hand, {{1}} and his depression was bearing down on our son and me. He refused to go see a psychiatrist because he thought it was a sign of weakness. Our marriage was suffering, and after my ultimatum he finally agreed to be evaluated.
The diagnosis
PTSD can affect anyone, not just soldiers or trauma victims
I was surprised, as was he, to learn that he had Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I ignorantly thought this was something that only war veterans or people who experienced mass trauma were diagnosed with. After hours of research I learned that members of the general public get PTSD, too.
The New England Journal of Medicine’s December 1987 issue had a report of research conducted on PTSD in the general public{{2}}. One percent of the civilian population has this mental illness. Including those who were exposed to or who have witnessed a physical attack raises the percentage up to 3.5%.
The National Institute of Mental Health states that 7.7 million Americans currently have PTSD. During their lifetimes, 7.8% of Americans will have the mental illness.{{3}}
Getting treatment
Treatment options were slim – finding doctors when needed was a challenge
My healthcare plan covered up to 80% of my husband’s treatment, but finding the best doctors to meet his needs when he needed to be seen was a challenge in itself.
Now that we had a diagnosis, there was hope, but our options were slim. Nights were always the hardest, and our only alternative was to go to the emergency room if he felt symptoms of a panic attack coming on. This meant our seven-year-old son would have to go sleep at a neighbor’s house, or I would have to call my mom to have her come over and stay with him. This was neither a good situation for our family, nor for the other people in our lives.
Concierge health care
Concierge health care gets you help whenever you need it
Concierge health care was an option I discovered, and the one we chose. It may not be for everyone, but for some people it is ideal. Quite frankly, it has saved my family.
Concierge health care (also known as direct care) is a relationship between a patient and a physician or physician group in which the patient pays a monthly or annual fee or retainer. In exchange for the retainer, doctors provide enhanced care, including 24 hour access in most cases.
The down side of the concierge health care option is that it won’t accept any health insurance. However, it is affordable for us. We pay only slightly more per month than what we pay for our Internet and cable TV, and my husband gets instant access to doctors 24 hours a day.
My husband’s new doctor even makes house calls and asked him to keep in e-mail contact with a journal and any questions. The care and attention my husband received then, and that he continues to get now, is incredible.
Coping strategies
Tips for coping strategies
In doing further online research, I came across some blogs written by others who offer coping strategies to help loved ones recover from PTSD. Like me, the bloggers are not medical professionals, but merely people whose lives have been afflicted by this disease. Here are some of the coping strategies I have tried that have worked really well in helping my husband:
- Make the person aware of their surroundings. When someone is about to have a panic attack point out things in the area to help turn their mind away from the bad memory.
- Use images on your phone, computer or in a photo album. Find images from a family vacation or those showing a time before the accident that trigger a happy memory.
- Get the person talking before the panic attack becomes full-blown.
- Identify what triggers the panic attacks and come up with a “happy place” to divert the person to when the panic attack is in its early stage. In my case a photo of my husband skiing with our son was used.
Going forward
My husband is now working and enjoying his family
My husband is now back to work and engaging in family activities. In our case it took seven months of treatment to get him to a point where he could function in society.
I credit my success as a caregiver in helping him beat this disease to his own inner strength and determination to be cured, my endless research, and the help we got through our concierge health care provider.
While it isn’t an ideal option for everyone, concierge health care is worth researching. After all, if it helped my family, it may be an ally in helping someone you love.
Sara Fletcher is a freelance journalist and a proud mother of two. She is currently researching concierge medicine as an option for her mother. You can follow her on Google+.
Please note: The writer of this post is not a trained mental health professional. This post is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for the health care of your personal physician or mental health professional.
[[1]] Nichols, Michael L. Anxiety and Depression: Two Sides of the Same Coin?. Retrieved March 13, 2013 from https://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/23/anxiety-and-depression-two-sides-of-the-same-coin/ [[1]]
[[2]] Helzer, John E, Robins,Lee N, McEvoy, Larry. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in the General Population. Retrieved March 13, 2013 from http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM198712243172604 [[2]]
[[3]] Staff. Anxiety Disorders. Retrieved March 13, 2013 from http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders/complete-index.shtml#pub4 [[3]]
