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I have trouble expressing my emotions. I do not know how I feel the majority of the time. I know when I feel positively about something and negatively about something. I don’t think that I have ever felt sad. I tend to make guesses at what emotion would best fit how I feel at any given time, when asked, but when I really take the time to reflect I find I have no name for how I feel at any time. It’s difficult to describe >.< I do however like various music and artwork. A wide spectrum in fact. I can not tell you what my favorite genre would be, out of those that I find pleasant. I can however, quickly recognize something that I do not like. In addition I do have some sense of humor, though there are many jokes that I do not get. Some types of humor/jokes I have simply learned the "correct" response to. I did not have much of a sense of humor when I was younger. I did not get most jokes, and had to have them explained to me. My recent discovery, with help from my husband, is situational humor.

I have spent a lot of time over the last year, learning to recognize facial cues for various feelings. I can recognize happy, and sad and anger. I cannot tell, very well, the differences between anger and disgust. I find myself asking how the other person in the conversation feels, and did not always recognize in school when someone was upset. I learned to be "empathetic" through questions about the other persons feelings, and simply by listening. My interest in how another person is feeling, despite not picking up on it, seems to have taken me a long way.

Growing up I had just assumed I was empathetic. How wrong I was.

I have been told on many occasions, that I look intimidating and angry all the time, or sad, though I am quite sure that I am not. I attempted to visit with a counselor to help me with these issues, but we weren't really getting anywhere. I'm not really certain who I can talk to to help. Even if just for intellectual pursuit, I'd like to understand more about emotion, and perhaps someday, be able to identify how I feel, myself.

For the sake of relating to this article, I have had quite a few panic attacks in the past, but did not know what was happening to me until quite recently. In addition, I have tested 176 on the mensa I.Q. pretest. (I never followed through with official entry due to lack of activities in my area). I also scored high in testing when I was in grade school, after my unusual behavior was noted.

I find it interesting as I was diagnosed with Conversion Disorder. Although i do not believe that is a panic disorder but i do not believe i was accurately diagnosed.

I was hoping that you could point me in the right direction to get this fixed or at least towards getting it fixed. I greatly appreciate anything you could do or give to help me.

I hadn’t thought of Alexithymia in terms of the “emotional bucket,” but it makes perfect sense. You know first-hand how that bucket can overflow into panic attacks that disrupt the lives of the sufferer and everyone around them.

I’m keeping an eye on this subject and will report as more research is released. To me, there seems to be a lot of interconnectedness among Alexithymia and symptoms of other Anxiety Disorders, but I won’t express them here because they are just hunches rather than facts.

For me, I don’t find this study surprising at all. As I’ve mentioned before in other posts, I believe that panic attacks are a physiological reaction that some people have when their “emotional bucket” is full and overflowing. Some people react in others ways; some have panic attacks.

So, if you are unable to “emote” what’s going on inside, then your “bucket” will eventually get full, leading you down the PD path.

[Editor's note: Dave is the author of the post, Conquering Your Panic: Dave’s Success Story where he explains the "emotional bucket." In addition, he has contributed many insightful comments, particularly on the post I’m Dying: What a Panic Attack Feels Like.]

The research reported in this post is the first of its kind, and only established that there is a link between the brain functions of alexithymics and those with Panic Disorder. I’m sure that research is continuing to fill in the blanks now that the relationship has been proven.

While writing the post I had all sorts of questions pop up in my mind, like “What kind of behaviors do alexithymics and Panic Disorder sufferers have in common?” and “What exactly would characterize alexithymic thinking among the Panic Disorder symptoms?” There are many more.

Like many groundbreaking research studies, this one raises more questions than it answers. I will be following developments closely and report them as they appear.

Doug’s last blog post..Ending the worrying about worrying