Yes – the best thing to me about Buddhism is that it allows me, through a very natural process, take 100% responsibility for all of my suffering. This translates into having the faith that I can change anything in my life.

John

Fear of losing control, fear of dying — panic attacks, and indeed most of the Anxiety Disorders, are based on fear. Like you say, you have to face that fear directly if you ever hope to gain some relief.

I used to have panic attacks similar to what you mention in your post, I’m Dying: What a Panic Attack Feels Like, but then I changed things through my Buddhist practice. It took me a while, but I finally realized that my fear of “losing control” actually made the attacks more intense.

As soon as I faced that fear head-on, the attacks because less frequent.

John

I can empathize with your suicidal ideation. I’ve been there often and feel that deep despair literally sucks the soul from your body. It’s good that you realize that it’s your mental condition that’s doing the talking during those times.

I have started a series of posts about how it feels to have various Anxiety Disorders. The first one was I’m Dying: What a Panic Attack Feels Like. One of the purposes of these posts is to give “people on the outside” a sense of what a person with Anxiety Disorders really is undergoing.

So many people have no experience with mental disorders, and believe that the sufferer is just weak, has a character flaw, or could “snap out of it” if they wanted to. Unfortunately, this attitude and the stigma of mental illness is entrenched in our culture. I have written several posts about this subject, such as Scapegoating and the Stigma of Mental Illness, and intend to write more.

I welcome your suggestions on post topics that would be of help to your parents and friends to help them understand what you’re going through.

I have learnt that suicidal ideation is moreso linked to ‘Generalized Anxiety Disorder.’ When ill, I believe that I’m never going to get better; the world isn’t going to get better and my finances are going to remain horrid because of an inability to work. I’m always aware the suicidal thoughts are a manifestation of the illness and never act on them.

When I get to the nervous and physically anxious stage I have to be really careful. I’m so desperate for the symptoms to subside, I start to seriously contemplate it. This is usually when I trigger a panic attack just to get the feelings over with and can get to sleep.

Its really disturbing. I get depression associated with anxiety and often find its a welcome relief. Even more disturbing, I found that telling others that your anxiety does make you feel suicidal actually gives you credibility in their eyes.

Thank you for this blog. I’m thinking of pointing my parents towards it as many of their beliefs of my illness are so off the mark :( Will read through some more of your posts!

- Jade

The Anxiety Disorders have taken a back seat research-wise for many years to depression, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses, even though they are almost as prevalent in the population. I believe that researchers and mental health professionals are waking up to just how disturbing and dangerous they can be.

@salwa – Thank you for the complements! I hope to see you here often.

I wonder if traditionally women have been considered more nervous and anxious then men so it is more acceptable for them to express it. And if men don’t know how to express it, then are more likely to allow the feelings to lead them to suicide. Or could it be related to men generally being less expressive emotionally as a whole.

I am a bit surprised at these findings though. I’m glad that the connection between suicide and anxiety has been discovered so that people can get the appropriate treatment.

Yes, I’m on Twitter. One of my Thesis changes is to put a Twitter badge somewhere.