I feel fantastic now. I made peace with myself that I gave it a good go and although I don’t consider it a failure, I consider it a learning experience for sure.

I’ve been back to smoking now for about a month. I have no guilt about it anymore. I feel that in this world everyone has some type of physical or mental illness and while most people go to a doctor and take medication, my form of medication is smoking. It keeps me clear headed, thwarts off any anxiety I might have and just makes me feel more well rounded as a person. I’m able to make decisions easier and my thinking has become clearer.

The day I decieded to Quit Quitting, I promptly went down to the store, bought a pack of cigerettes, came home and smoked one. Within minutes of smoking it I felt like my old self. I went into the house so clear headed and focused that I spent the next 2 hours finishing up a chapter in my book that had been sitting for 3 years.

I thought about it this way Eric, and in no way, shape or form am I trying to justify my own personal reasons for going back to smoking, it’s just the truth. But I thought to myself, you know all medications have their side effects. Some cause Liver damage, some damage vital organs over long term use, some have ill effects like nausea and headaches and if I’m going to suffer some type of long term damage or side effects for any form of medication, I’d rather be able to pick the one that fits me best. Besides that and not having insurance, smoking for me is the cheapest form of self medication in the long run honestly.

Yeah, I might die of lung cancer, sure I may have complications when I’m 80, but I live in Florida, and most people who are 80 years old, regardless of whether their a smoker or not, have some form of health problems.

Like I said though, with the world the way it is today between Cadmium in McDonalds toys to the air you breath, to mold that might be in your house or medication that has side effects or long term effects, eventually we’ll all die or be afflicted with something. Regardless of how healthy or unhealthy you live your life.

At the end of it all, I know I feel at peace with my decision and it was the best decision I could make for me. You just have to figure out what your decision is for yourself.

Sherry, How do you feel now??? How long have you been back smoking??? Do you have guilt about smoking again or are you at peace with your decision???

Mike, I hope you’re ok………where are you????

Thanks to all who contribute here!!!!! Eric

Couldn’t focus, couldn’t make a single simple decision no matter what it was. Felt depressed, full of anxiety. Angry, Paranoid, easily upset and completely unhappy and sad about every aspect of my life.

During my whole phase of 3 years of not smoking I gave it a good go. I moved into a larger, nicer house. Became more financially secure, worked on my relationship with a passion and tried to find new hobbies and intrests I enjoyed. But I still felt “Not Me”.

After a long debate I quit quitting. It’s my new program to make me feel better. I don’t take any medication and haven’t for well over 10 years now. The only side effects of smoking I now suffer are occasional migranes and headaches.

But the most important thing I think I gained from smoking is being able to think clearly, being more decisive and a calmer me. I don’t think quitting was a good idea for me on a personal and mental level and I think when I quit, it was actually more life threatening to me mentally then smoking is to me physically.

I have been self-medicating with nicotine for ADD for more years then I care to think about. The few times I managed to quit I was a mess within weeks. In three months time close friends of mine, who for years urged me to quit, suggested I may want to start smoking again. It was that bad. After starting smoking again I was back to normal within hours.

There’s clearly more going on here then many people would have use believe.

The good news is that after doing more research I discovered a tobacco product that satisfies my cravings, and my ADD, with greatly reduced harm. I’m using Swedish style snus, and was able to quit smoking within weeks of trying it. I’ve been off cigarettes for 5 months, the longest I’ve been able to quit in nearly 40 years.

The whole concept of reduced harm tobacco should be looked into by both health professionals and the public at large. There is no reason that an addiction to nicotine has to lead to the health problems associated with smoking. A basic tenet of reduced harm is that nicotine is not the killer, it’s the smoke.

It’s worth to try! It helped me with anxiety A LOT.

Goog luck and best wishes everyone!

Gogi =)