Comments on: Shyness or Social Phobia? http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/ Living with Health, Wellness and Wholeness Wed, 16 May 2012 17:30:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Amit http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-23547 Amit Tue, 29 Nov 2011 00:56:28 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-23547 Hi Mike, Amanda and others, I am so glad to find that there are others just like me. My story is very simple. I was shy and still am. I am 24 and still young enough to do wrong things. I am happy in a way that I am shy and introvert. The reason is simple. Many people in my social circle go out and party and drink and do all that fun stuff. But I don't!! In a way, I think its good because that way I can work towards my personal goals without being distracted. Being an ambitious guy, I can tell you for sure that you need to work your way up and being introvert is helpful as it helps you stay low. On the other hand, being shy, I am scared to hurt someone's feelings and I don't know how I feel about anyone. I truly don't know if being shy/introvert is a good or bad thing, but I do know that having a balance of a feeling is really important. I can't say much like Mike did, but I can surely say that you don't want your work/personal life be affected by your shyness in anyways. Thats the reason I have decided to change that and become more extrovert. Change is good if your intentions are good. If you are happy being introvert/shy, then don't change. If you think you are getting hurt by your shyness, its time to change that!! Hi Mike, Amanda and others,
I am so glad to find that there are others just like me. My story is very simple.

I was shy and still am. I am 24 and still young enough to do wrong things. I am happy in a way that I am shy and introvert. The reason is simple. Many people in my social circle go out and party and drink and do all that fun stuff. But I don’t!! In a way, I think its good because that way I can work towards my personal goals without being distracted. Being an ambitious guy, I can tell you for sure that you need to work your way up and being introvert is helpful as it helps you stay low.

On the other hand, being shy, I am scared to hurt someone’s feelings and I don’t know how I feel about anyone. I truly don’t know if being shy/introvert is a good or bad thing, but I do know that having a balance of a feeling is really important. I can’t say much like Mike did, but I can surely say that you don’t want your work/personal life be affected by your shyness in anyways. Thats the reason I have decided to change that and become more extrovert. Change is good if your intentions are good.

If you are happy being introvert/shy, then don’t change. If you think you are getting hurt by your shyness, its time to change that!!

]]> By: Amanda http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-21040 Amanda Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:55:39 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-21040 Iam glad I read this. I see myself especially in the behavior and mental sections. I think I may have mild shyness, but not social phobia yet. I can still face situations that make me uncomfortable such as riding the bus or train. I like to go places insted of staying at home. I just dont like to draw attention to myself too much. I have been quiet all my life, and I think I have went through different stages of shyness. As a child I didnt like drawing too much attention to myself. I would wait for other kids to come play with me insted of going up to them first. Iam 22 now, and I think Iam more of an introvet now. I prefer to do things by myself than hang out in big groups. I have my small circle of friends, and I like hanging out with them, but I dont like when they invite extra people to our outings that I dont know. I dont know what to say to the extra people. At school, I rather do assingments by myself. I dont like group projects. I learn better and do my work better when I work alone. I like to study for a hard test with my close friends, but not with a class of strangers. In class, Iam either the most quiet person or the second or third most quiet person. Iam glad I found this article. I want to continue to be an introvert, but I just hope that I can be more relax in school. Iam glad I read this. I see myself especially in the behavior and mental sections. I think I may have mild shyness, but not social phobia yet. I can still face situations that make me uncomfortable such as riding the bus or train. I like to go places insted of staying at home. I just dont like to draw attention to myself too much. I have been quiet all my life, and I think I have went through different stages of shyness. As a child I didnt like drawing too much attention to myself. I would wait for other kids to come play with me insted of going up to them first. Iam 22 now, and I think Iam more of an introvet now. I prefer to do things by myself than hang out in big groups. I have my small circle of friends, and I like hanging out with them, but I dont like when they invite extra people to our outings that I dont know. I dont know what to say to the extra people. At school, I rather do assingments by myself. I dont like group projects. I learn better and do my work better when I work alone. I like to study for a hard test with my close friends, but not with a class of strangers. In class, Iam either the most quiet person or the second or third most quiet person. Iam glad I found this article. I want to continue to be an introvert, but I just hope that I can be more relax in school.

]]> By: nonnie http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-10971 nonnie Fri, 22 Oct 2010 09:21:12 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-10971 Like another has written above I see myself in several of these maladies. I was painfully shy as a child so much so that if someone were to look or say hello to me it would send me into tears. Coming from an extremely abusive household where children were never wanted I wonder if this was the trigger. I recall pulling my hair out until I had a large bald spot for ages and even remember being in my crib. I know I know most people find this hard to believe, but I do remember these and other things I wish could be forgotten. The current problem is fitting in with people in the workplace. It could be that it may be the wrong arena for me> (hoping) I grew up as a preppy girl who never did anything that was considered bad; of course my family only saw bad? The realization that they are the nutjobs has been a blessing, but it doesn't take the harm or the hurt away. Anyway, I work in warehouse souly for the better pay, but find that there is not a place that I fit in there. 99.9% seem to be smokers, gamblers, and have little outside interests unless you dress as they do and enjoy complaining about the company or gossiping about who they do not like. (sometimes me) Little by little all of my hobbies and interests have diminished such as quilting, sewing, writing, cooking. If anyone tells you there isn't a difference between the people in the west coast compared to the midwest are crazy or know nothing about midwestern culture. Everything is disposable here...especially marriage. If you have no huge ugly tatoos or body peircings forget about it. The last thing that bothers me is that in the state I live in they are 50th in the US in education which basically means to me that they graduated with what would have been a 7th grade education where I came from. Having worked in the ER outside of Chicago and witnessing how many mistakes that the RN's make in the local hospitals has caused me PTSD in itself which is several other long stories. How many disorders can one person have? I have severe cfs/fibro/polycythemia besides the anxiety. Being homeless in the desert is my biggest fear....in a land of nothingness with no friends. Like another has written above I see myself in several of these maladies. I was painfully shy as a child so much so that if someone were to look or say hello to me it would send me into tears. Coming from an extremely abusive household where children were never wanted I wonder if this was the trigger. I recall pulling my hair out until I had a large bald spot for ages and even remember being in my crib. I know I know most people find this hard to believe, but I do remember these and other things I wish could be forgotten. The current problem is fitting in with people in the workplace. It could be that it may be the wrong arena for me> (hoping) I grew up as a preppy girl who never did anything that was considered bad; of course my family only saw bad? The realization that they are the nutjobs has been a blessing, but it doesn’t take the harm or the hurt away. Anyway, I work in warehouse souly for the better pay, but find that there is not a place that I fit in there. 99.9% seem to be smokers, gamblers, and have little outside interests unless you dress as they do and enjoy complaining about the company or gossiping about who they do not like. (sometimes me) Little by little all of my hobbies and interests have diminished such as quilting, sewing, writing, cooking. If anyone tells you there isn’t a difference between the people in the west coast compared to the midwest are crazy or know nothing about midwestern culture. Everything is disposable here…especially marriage. If you have no huge ugly tatoos or body peircings forget about it. The last thing that bothers me is that in the state I live in they are 50th in the US in education which basically means to me that they graduated with what would have been a 7th grade education where I came from. Having worked in the ER outside of Chicago and witnessing how many mistakes that the RN’s make in the local hospitals has caused me PTSD in itself which is several other long stories. How many disorders can one person have? I have severe cfs/fibro/polycythemia besides the anxiety. Being homeless in the desert is my biggest fear….in a land of nothingness with no friends.

]]> By: Segun http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-4096 Segun Fri, 16 Jan 2009 10:33:47 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-4096 I love your write ups.Please i think i am being affected by social phobia what can you do to help me?I find it very difficult to give speech in public and to walk into a large congregation I love your write ups.Please i think i am being affected by social phobia what can you do to help me?I find it very difficult to give speech in public and to walk into a large congregation

]]> By: Barriers to the Treatment of Social Phobia — Anxiety, Panic & Health http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-3435 Barriers to the Treatment of Social Phobia — Anxiety, Panic & Health Thu, 13 Nov 2008 09:17:50 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-3435 [...] woefully undereducated about Social Phobia, considering it to be just shyness. As the post “Shyness or Social Phobia?” states, most people — including doctors — do not recognize that it is the [...] [...] woefully undereducated about Social Phobia, considering it to be just shyness. As the post “Shyness or Social Phobia?” states, most people — including doctors — do not recognize that it is the [...]

]]> By: Dealing With Stress At Work - Mike Nichols Interview Podcast http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-3366 Dealing With Stress At Work - Mike Nichols Interview Podcast Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:06:50 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-3366 [...] Shyness or Social Phobia? [...] [...] Shyness or Social Phobia? [...]

]]> By: Jane O. http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-3236 Jane O. Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:12:38 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-3236 Mike Thank you for reminding me of this article...I did read it long ago but it was definitely worth revisiting. There does seem to be some crossover between introversion, shyness, and social phobia. I would say that I have some symptoms of each. You are quite right about the characteristics changing with age. When I was younger I had times of high social stress when my hands and feet would go numb and I had to go lie down in a dark room so I wouldn't faint. I haven't had that for years, but now I have terrible anxiety riding in the car...not when "I'm" driving, but when someone else ( particularly my husband) is at the wheel. I've never been in an accident so I don't know what has brought this on over the last 5-8 years. I am white knuckled and startled at every turn. I have to develop a coping strategy pretty soon or my husband will start leaving me at home! Anyway, I look forward to your posting on introversion in the future. Thanks for your help. Jane Mike
Thank you for reminding me of this article…I did read it long ago but it was definitely worth revisiting. There does seem to be some crossover between introversion, shyness, and social phobia. I would say that I have some symptoms of each. You are quite right about the characteristics changing with age. When I was younger I had times of high social stress when my hands and feet would go numb and I had to go lie down in a dark room so I wouldn’t faint. I haven’t had that for years, but now I have terrible anxiety riding in the car…not when “I’m” driving, but when someone else ( particularly my husband) is at the wheel. I’ve never been in an accident so I don’t know what has brought this on over the last 5-8 years. I am white knuckled and startled at every turn. I have to develop a coping strategy pretty soon or my husband will start leaving me at home!
Anyway, I look forward to your posting on introversion in the future. Thanks for your help.
Jane

]]> By: Mike http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-3235 Mike Thu, 18 Sep 2008 03:23:18 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-3235 Jane, thank you for your kind comments! Age does blunt the force of many habits of mind and mental disorders, including shyness (note, I <i>am not</i> classifying shyness as a mental disorder!). However, rather than simply going away, these sometimes change in their symptoms, reactions, and characteristics as you get older, some for the good, some otherwise. At 61, I find my mental ailments losing some of their cyclonic power as I age, though there are some definite changes that I'm having to come to grips with, as well. Something I believe may be related to shyness, or at least the public perception of shyness, is introversion. I almost mentioned it in this post, but hadn't done enough research to back up my thoughts. I intend to do the required research and post about it in the future. I don't know what portion of the populace could be classified as introverts, but I count myself among them. And it seems that, by your description, you are an introvert, too. There is a great article I recommend you read, <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch" rel="nofollow">Caring for Your Introvert</a>. It seems that the world is run by extroverts, who don't have a clue about those that don't feel exactly the way they do! This article gives great comfort to all of us beleaguered introverts! Jane, thank you for your kind comments!

Age does blunt the force of many habits of mind and mental disorders, including shyness (note, I am not classifying shyness as a mental disorder!). However, rather than simply going away, these sometimes change in their symptoms, reactions, and characteristics as you get older, some for the good, some otherwise. At 61, I find my mental ailments losing some of their cyclonic power as I age, though there are some definite changes that I’m having to come to grips with, as well.

Something I believe may be related to shyness, or at least the public perception of shyness, is introversion. I almost mentioned it in this post, but hadn’t done enough research to back up my thoughts. I intend to do the required research and post about it in the future.

I don’t know what portion of the populace could be classified as introverts, but I count myself among them. And it seems that, by your description, you are an introvert, too. There is a great article I recommend you read, Caring for Your Introvert. It seems that the world is run by extroverts, who don’t have a clue about those that don’t feel exactly the way they do! This article gives great comfort to all of us beleaguered introverts!

]]> By: Jane O. http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/09/16/shyness-or-social-phobia/comment-page-1/#comment-3234 Jane O. Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:22:46 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=431#comment-3234 I want you to know what a comfort it is to find your site. Without going into detail...I can relate to almost everything you mention in regard to shyness and social anxiety. I am now almost 59 years old and have only once mentioned my problems to a physician. He told me I had an overactive autonomic nervous system and I should go home and "relax". That was almost 30 years ago. I never mentioned anything related to anxiety again. Age has helped some...I just don't care as much I guess. But, I still beat myself up now and then over how I "should" have been and all the things I "didn't" do because I just "couldn't". So it helps a bit to know many others are like me and it's really not the end of the world. Although, I have given up on trying to make my uber- extrovert siblings and coworkers understand. They think I am just a grumpy curmudgeon who won't particpate in their endless "fun". Oh well. I probably wouldn't have written this little comment if I hadn't just finished a glass of wine. I thank you for writing this blog...please continue ....I am listening. I want you to know what a comfort it is to find your site. Without going into detail…I can relate to almost everything you mention in regard to shyness and social anxiety. I am now almost 59 years old and have only once mentioned my problems to a physician. He told me I had an overactive autonomic nervous system and I should go home and “relax”. That was almost 30 years ago. I never mentioned anything related to anxiety again. Age has helped some…I just don’t care as much I guess. But, I still beat myself up now and then over how I “should” have been and all the things I “didn’t” do because I just “couldn’t”. So it helps a bit to know many others are like me and it’s really not the end of the world. Although, I have given up on trying to make my uber- extrovert siblings and coworkers understand. They think I am just a grumpy curmudgeon who won’t particpate in their endless “fun”. Oh well. I probably wouldn’t have written this little comment if I hadn’t just finished a glass of wine. I thank you for writing this blog…please continue ….I am listening.

]]>