Comments on: Bullying Causes Anxiety Disorders – and It’s Not Just Kids!

By: Gerard

Gerard — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 03:36:34 +0000

Maisey, I have been through similar experiences. I do not think you need to “toughen up”. That is just another way for bullies and an indifferent society to blame the victim. While we can do our best to cope individually, I believe that adult victims of bullying need to group together to further our cause by raising awareness of this problem and forcing an attitudinal change eg why are sociopaths hired as Managers and CEOs, why is promotion given to the most assertive and aggressive and extroverted people regardless of their qualifications. How can workplaces be more supportive rather than competitive etc. I would like to get a group like this together. One thing that is stopping people is they dont want to be identified as victims of bullying as there is a stigma associated with that and it is another way to blame the victim. To come out openly as a victim of bullying you run the risk of being seen as weak and self indulgent or immature or otherwise unable to care for yourself. We have to change this perception. You also make bullies feel uncomfortable and run the risk of inviting more bullying.

By: Maisey

Maisey — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 19:57:54 +0000

I have been bullied all my life, from the age of 4 now in my 50s still being bullied by older siblings, workplace managers, colleages, I seem to attact them. I am not confrontational, but it has caused me a major health break down. Its not in my nature to be rude to people, how can I shake off this type of attraction from colleagues, familly, and so called friends. do I need to change my personality to just toughen up

By: Vivian

Vivian — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 09:26:41 +0000

Alicia, i’ve never heard anyone describe the story of my life, as you just did. I was bullied all the way through school, and i have no trust in anyone liking me. I have cut off friendships, and now i only have my bf, and my 2 children. I feel very lonely. My parents and teachers didnt do anything about it either, and now it is influencing my whole life. I am a bright girl, and im sure i could have gotten a better education and job, but my anxiety for not being good enough, or being bullied again, holds me back. Im even having a hard time trusting my bf, because i feel that any other girl would be a better choice than me. Bullying sure destroys lives :S

Sorry for my english, im from Denmark ;)

Vivian

By: Pat

Pat — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:41:34 +0000

The only good thing about bullying in the workplace is that it has another name – harrassment – and there are federal laws about that. Anytime one feels they’re being “bullied” in the workplace, trust me, it’s harrassment. All they have to do is mention “EEOC” to their HR Department, and the matter should get resolved quickly. If it doesn’t, then they should definitely file with the EEOC. But filing needs to be done within six months of the occurrence(s). If the company doesn’t do anything about it, then the victim has two things to look forward to: either job security for life or lots of money from the lawsuit! See, just about every cloud has a silver lining.

By: Alicia

Alicia — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 01:24:48 +0000

I was bullied relentlessly from the time I was about 7 and I don’t really think it has stopped to this day. Of course, that just could be my paranoia talking because of how awful the torture I recieved was. I went to a very small Catholic school from grades1-8, and from grades 3-8 I had not one single friend. I sat alone, just trying to keep myself low enough on the radar so people would just forget about me. It would have been better than the torture. Unfortunately, I never really got that lucky. I attempted to talk to the adults in my life and responses I got ranged from pray about it to, “If you didn’t let them know it bothers you, they will stop.” I don’t remember a single one of them ever getting in trouble for the things they said about me or did to me. I actually went to the principal and she basically told me it would only make my situation worse. When my parents didn’t/couldn’t help me, I gave up my faith in anything. I started acting out as I got older, but of course it was all my fault. I am 27, and today I finally cut my mother out of my life. I have let her make me cry for the last time. The truth is, my mom really didn’t do ANYTHING to help. She never tried being friendly towards me, even though she knew I had no friends(when a girl never gets invited to a sleepover, a phone call, a trip to the movies, etc. you’d think you’d step up). Having children of my own, I now know how my mom acted was wrong. I could never do that to my daughters. This torture has affected my whole life. I dropped out of college, not because I wasn’t able to do the work, but because I always felt like it would never be good enough. I haven’t really even tried to figure out what I want to do with my life, even though I know I am capable of more than this. I have cut off any relationships that I did have, besides my husband, because I don’t feel like I can trust anyone to be my true friend. Too many people have hurt me. I am so lonely. I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I don’t have insurance and my limited means + no insurance= no treatment. Ironically, I feel if I hadn’t been subjected to the torture I was, I might actually be a successful person with a decent job with benefits. I wouldn’t need the treatment if it weren’t for the experiences though. I don’t know what, if anything, I have accomplished by writing this but at least there are fewer tears coming out now.

By: Gerard

Gerard — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:57:45 +0000

I was an outgoing, lively child until adolescence and Junior High when my elder brother started bulling me severely and often in front of my parents and he successfully got away with it, telling them he was “joking”. When he became violent, he always had a good “excuse” and my parents usually accepted it. If my father tried to discipline him, my mother would start a fight with my father and say that I provoked it and I somehow “deserved it”. Since then I have experienced adult bullying including from my elder brother who still bullies me. On a couple of occasions he even has been violent towards me as an adult. I try to keep him at arms length but unlike friends, it is more difficult to cut off a sibling. Also, a number of my extended family, cousins etc take the cue from my elder brother and join in the bullying. I have cut them off to various extents. I suffer endemic low self esteem and lack of confidence. I have become quite socially isolated. I find that when I am at a low point with one bully, I am more susceptible to bullying by others. At times I become impatient and argumentative and at other times timid and withdraw into my shell. I know I am not dealing with it effectively but as an adult man I feel it is socially less acceptable to admit to being bullied and nobody including counsellors seem to take the situation seriously. A couple of friends have lately confided to me that they feel similar things and it has socially isolated them also. I think we need to form a social support network and share experiences on how to educate society about the harmful effects of adult social bullying (just like we are doing with school and workplace bullies) so that it becomes socially unacceptable. Does anyone have any thoughts?

By: Terilyn

Terilyn — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 07:22:56 +0000

Mr. Nicols–I am researching an artical on adult gossiping as a form of bullying, a subject that is damaging lives here in small-town Alberta. The effects of “coffee shop talk” have even resulted in police investigations that left families in ruins and local authorities with an unfounded crime. Would I be able to send you questions or, better still, discuss this subject on the phone?
Thank you for any time you can give me on this subject.

Yours,
T. Paulgaard
Provost, Alberta
albertaluckygirl@hotmail.com

By: Sue

Sue — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:55:01 +0000

Ibrahim If you are having suicidal thoughts Medication can be a life saver it has been for me. It has change me for the better. It is not perfect medication alone won’t solve all the problems. Talk therapy with it helps. When you have a chemical imbalance in the brain that needs medication to put it right then I will do it. I wouldn’t still be taken them if I felt they were hurting me. Everybody is different some needs the medication and some don’t. I know I need it.

Sue

By: Ibrahim

Ibrahim — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:41:47 +0000

No matter how much you’re on the wrong road, you can turn back and recover anytime, without medication. It is not healthy to take medication for things like that because they sometimes trigger suicide and they make you dependent.

By: Sue

Sue — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 03:13:30 +0000

I have been bullied so much at work especially since 2004 when I got a disease from a flu shot and I became a partially disabled. Didn’t have the strength that I once had and people didn’t like the fact I was on modified work and I got harassed and bullied so much that I developed Major Depression became a Cutter and have Suicide thoughts. I have been an employee there for 27 years. 9 weeks after the open in my hometown and they treat me like crap. My DR says I don’t have P.T.S.D but I feel I do because I can’t stop thinking about my workplace and I am now afraid to go to work and I am only 48 years old. I can’t work 40 hours a week due to my Physical and Mental Health issues I only do about 30 hours and that is affecting me financially.