Comments on: How to Take Care of Yourself When Your Partner Has an Anxiety Disorder http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/ Living with Health, Wellness and Wholeness Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:41:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: erika http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-25029 erika Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:26:14 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-25029 I'm ready to bail. I'm tired. I'm not having this thorn at my side anymore. I've lost all my friends during 11 years of trying understand him and cope with him. I've also developed a habit of pushing away anyone else who wants to be close to me. I've even lost interest on all my hobbies and such. I no longer remember what it is we have in common anymore. My 2 sons are so attached to him because he coddled them so much on account that he "will die soon". He's admitted to his problem only AFTER we no long er had medical insurance. I’m ready to bail. I’m tired. I’m not having this thorn at my side anymore. I’ve lost all my friends during 11 years of trying understand him and cope with him. I’ve also developed a habit of pushing away anyone else who wants to be close to me. I’ve even lost interest on all my hobbies and such. I no longer remember what it is we have in common anymore. My 2 sons are so attached to him because he coddled them so much on account that he “will die soon”. He’s admitted to his problem only AFTER we no long
er had medical insurance.

]]> By: Eoz http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-24956 Eoz Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:43:46 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-24956 Hi Helen My fiancé is exactly the same, his mind races constantly so he is permanently tired but can't sleep. He worries about things that won't happen. He has partially accepted that he not only has depression but anxiety as well. I bought this amazing book that we are both reading called Self help for your nerves by phsychiatrist Claire Weekes. It's such a help because it describes exactly how he feels to him and it makes me understand what he's going through so I can be more helpful. It's still a battle to get him to realise how to help himself because he is still in denial that these thoughts are not rational. Acceptance is the first step. I struggle to cope sometimes and feel that he will never get over this and our dreams of a normal happy life just won't come true but I try and keep the dream in my heart and my head. It keeps me going. Hi Helen
My fiancé is exactly the same, his mind races constantly so he is permanently tired but can’t sleep. He worries about things that won’t happen. He has partially accepted that he not only has depression but anxiety as well. I bought this amazing book that we are both reading called Self help for your nerves by phsychiatrist Claire Weekes. It’s such a help because it describes exactly how he feels to him and it makes me understand what he’s going through so I can be more helpful. It’s still a battle to get him to realise how to help himself because he is still in denial that these thoughts are not rational. Acceptance is the first step. I struggle to cope sometimes and feel that he will never get over this and our dreams of a normal happy life just won’t come true but I try and keep the dream in my heart and my head. It keeps me going.

]]> By: Helen http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-24897 Helen Thu, 19 Jan 2012 20:18:18 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-24897 My partner has extreme anxiety in that his mind races a lot. Not everyday but enough to have him up at night, tossing and turning keeping me awake. He thinks things are bad about someone or something when really nothing has yet happened. He looks into the future and makes up this way of how things will happen like he is seeing into the future. He told me about all the things on his mind the other day. There were dozens and dozens of things and half of them didn't even need to be thought of. I am so worried about him and it causes us to have fights when I try to understand him. He won't see a doctor as he doesn't want to be made out to be having a 'problem' and thinks that he will be looked at like he is a freak. I love him dearly and don't know what to do anymore. Please help. Helen My partner has extreme anxiety in that his mind races a lot. Not everyday but enough to have him up at night, tossing and turning keeping me awake. He thinks things are bad about someone or something when really nothing has yet happened. He looks into the future and makes up this way of how things will happen like he is seeing into the future. He told me about all the things on his mind the other day. There were dozens and dozens of things and half of them didn’t even need to be thought of. I am so worried about him and it causes us to have fights when I try to understand him. He won’t see a doctor as he doesn’t want to be made out to be having a ‘problem’ and thinks that he will be looked at like he is a freak. I love him dearly and don’t know what to do anymore. Please help.
Helen

]]> By: Ashley http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-24836 Ashley Sat, 14 Jan 2012 23:52:50 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-24836 Update on my husband. Ok - So he has seen several doctors and they agree that it is PTSD. We found a mirical drug that has actually worked for my husband. He is very sensitive to medicines and rarely takes them. It is called Clonazepam. This does make him sleepy; however, he is now able to be in the same room as me. I don't feel like I am walking on pins and needles. It is a breath of fresh air. He doesn't startle as easily and it has eased his anxiety. He takes half a pill 3 times a day. He does work out daily to help with the anxious feeling because his body seems to constantly dump adrenline into his system. This drug is a miracle for him. Update on my husband. Ok – So he has seen several doctors and they agree that it is PTSD. We found a mirical drug that has actually worked for my husband. He is very sensitive to medicines and rarely takes them. It is called Clonazepam. This does make him sleepy; however, he is now able to be in the same room as me. I don’t feel like I am walking on pins and needles. It is a breath of fresh air. He doesn’t startle as easily and it has eased his anxiety. He takes half a pill 3 times a day. He does work out daily to help with the anxious feeling because his body seems to constantly dump adrenline into his system. This drug is a miracle for him.

]]> By: MIKE http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-24825 MIKE Sat, 14 Jan 2012 04:20:59 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-24825 I read this blog and very much believe this is what I am dealing with when it comes to my wife. We have been married for 5 years/ 2 kids and constantly dealing with these symptoms. My wife suffers from constant panic attacks. Over thinking worst case scenarios when it comes to our kids. Locks herself away in the bedroom when she gets depressed. Arguments lasting longer then they should. She was diagnoses and put on Lexapro(upon which she never told me about until I found it one day) but she self medicated herself to take herself off of it. Personally opinion was not the right decision. I try to ask her to get help but I feel like my pleads go know where. She is constantly having breakdowns. Yelling and screaming. I do feel like I am constantly stepping up and doing my best to deal with the kids, cleaning and cooking. My own morale has been brought down feeling like I am doing something wrong. I do feel that there are 2 me’s. As in how when my wife is there and when I am a lone. I am happier when I am a lone. I am on the edge. Ready to walk away. But having 2 kids I don’t want to put myself needs over the needs of my kids. My wife is constantly stating she wants a separation from me. I don’t know what to do. My wife means a lot to me and if you can multiply my kids as a factor. I feel if we were to divorce my kids would go to my wife. I don’t have any passed history like drugs, alcohol or jail sentence. Not to sound sexist I swear. I just feel the kids almost always go to the mother. I just want to know if anyone deals with this kind of situation and how they deal with issues. I just don’t know how to deal with a person who doesn’t see herself as being wrong or suborned. I read this blog and very much believe this is what I am dealing with when it comes to my wife. We have been married for 5 years/ 2 kids and constantly dealing with these symptoms. My wife suffers from constant panic attacks. Over thinking worst case scenarios when it comes to our kids. Locks herself away in the bedroom when she gets depressed. Arguments lasting longer then they should. She was diagnoses and put on Lexapro(upon which she never told me about until I found it one day) but she self medicated herself to take herself off of it. Personally opinion was not the right decision. I try to ask her to get help but I feel like my pleads go know where. She is constantly having breakdowns. Yelling and screaming. I do feel like I am constantly stepping up and doing my best to deal with the kids, cleaning and cooking. My own morale has been brought down feeling like I am doing something wrong. I do feel that there are 2 me’s. As in how when my wife is there and when I am a lone. I am happier when I am a lone. I am on the edge. Ready to walk away. But having 2 kids I don’t want to put myself needs over the needs of my kids. My wife is constantly stating she wants a separation from me. I don’t know what to do. My wife means a lot to me and if you can multiply my kids as a factor. I feel if we were to divorce my kids would go to my wife. I don’t have any passed history like drugs, alcohol or jail sentence. Not to sound sexist I swear. I just feel the kids almost always go to the mother. I just want to know if anyone deals with this kind of situation and how they deal with issues. I just don’t know how to deal with a person who doesn’t see herself as being wrong or suborned.

]]> By: Kris http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-24824 Kris Sat, 14 Jan 2012 03:07:30 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-24824 This article has been such a help!! Sometimes I feel so guilty for wanting to break away sometimes and being so angry but, this has made me feel as if someone really understands what I'm going through from this side of it. So Thanks!! This article has been such a help!! Sometimes I feel so guilty for wanting to break away sometimes and being so angry but, this has made me feel as if someone really understands what I’m going through from this side of it. So Thanks!!

]]> By: David http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-23131 David Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:08:50 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-23131 Wow! Glad to see I'm not the only one going through this. My wife has major anxiety. She had a rough childhood and is emetaphobic. She is self aware of her issue but often takes them out on me. She makes me feel like I never do anything right. We don't have much of a social life. We never go out aside from errands or our parents houses. I am a fairly social person and it's really taking a toll on me. She can become very mean and hurtful. This makes it hard for me to want to take care of her. I love her but her words can be extremely hurtful. She does see a therapist and is trying different meds. She's had bad reactions to every med she's been on so far. I dont know what to do. My anxiety is through the roof and I explode in fits on frustration. I'm not a violent at all but I end up punching the wall or floor. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. Now I'm going to see a therapist starting next week. Wow! Glad to see I’m not the only one going through this. My wife has major anxiety. She had a rough childhood and is emetaphobic. She is self aware of her issue but often takes them out on me. She makes me feel like I never do anything right. We don’t have much of a social life. We never go out aside from errands or our parents houses. I am a fairly social person and it’s really taking a toll on me. She can become very mean and hurtful. This makes it hard for me to want to take care of her. I love her but her words can be extremely hurtful. She does see a therapist and is trying different meds. She’s had bad reactions to every med she’s been on so far. I dont know what to do. My anxiety is through the roof and I explode in fits on frustration. I’m not a violent at all but I end up punching the wall or floor. I feel like I’m loosing my mind. Now I’m going to see a therapist starting next week.

]]> By: Ashley http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-23057 Ashley Sun, 20 Nov 2011 04:24:20 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-23057 WOW! I am new to this. My husband has been dealing with anxiety his whole life and it exploded about 9 months ago into what has now been diagnosed as GAD. He has always managed to find other ways to shed off the anxiety until now. All the issues that we have run into now seem like huge craters in the ground. I do see how draining it can be. Teh doctors have also diagnosed him with PTSD (from childhood) and so this has made things quite tricky. He is hypervigilent and the slightest movement right in front of him can startle. Luckily, we have a condo on the beach that he can stay in when it gets too difficult. This allows for peaceful environment when he can't handle the stresses of everyday life. It has amazed me to see him crumble right in front of me. WOW! I am new to this. My husband has been dealing with anxiety his whole life and it exploded about 9 months ago into what has now been diagnosed as GAD. He has always managed to find other ways to shed off the anxiety until now. All the issues that we have run into now seem like huge craters in the ground. I do see how draining it can be. Teh doctors have also diagnosed him with PTSD (from childhood) and so this has made things quite tricky. He is hypervigilent and the slightest movement right in front of him can startle. Luckily, we have a condo on the beach that he can stay in when it gets too difficult. This allows for peaceful environment when he can’t handle the stresses of everyday life. It has amazed me to see him crumble right in front of me.

]]> By: Delua http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-22816 Delua Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:21:33 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-22816 I feel so terrible about being unable to pay meaningful attention to my boyfriend. The panic attacks have overwhelmed me...But thats not the problem...The problem is so much worse... I have a sensory disorder..a neurological problem I was born with. All physical sensation is pain. Everything. I can barely touch myself without causing significant pain, and the more sensitive an area, the worse the pain. If I touch the wrong part of my stomach, my muscles contract from the extreme, sharp pain (Think: powerful electric shot/stabbing) And thats ME. My reflex when touched even by my boyfriend makes me yank away. I know this hurts him..I know he knows why and that its not his fault.. ...But this essentially means we have no real physical relationship. He cant touch me. THe knowledge that human contact will never be possible for me is devestating enough...I dont want him to go through it too..I wouldnt wish this on anyone.. I dont know what to do. I feel so terrible about being unable to pay meaningful attention to my boyfriend. The panic attacks have overwhelmed me…But thats not the problem…The problem is so much worse…

I have a sensory disorder..a neurological problem I was born with. All physical sensation is pain. Everything. I can barely touch myself without causing significant pain, and the more sensitive an area, the worse the pain. If I touch the wrong part of my stomach, my muscles contract from the extreme, sharp pain (Think: powerful electric shot/stabbing) And thats ME. My reflex when touched even by my boyfriend makes me yank away. I know this hurts him..I know he knows why and that its not his fault..

…But this essentially means we have no real physical relationship. He cant touch me. THe knowledge that human contact will never be possible for me is devestating enough…I dont want him to go through it too..I wouldnt wish this on anyone..

I dont know what to do.

]]> By: Linda http://anxietypanichealth.com/2008/07/30/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-your-partner-has-an-anxiety-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-21895 Linda Fri, 28 Oct 2011 21:54:55 +0000 http://anxietypanichealth.com/?p=166#comment-21895 I'm 36 and have I supposed not been lucky in love, never been married and I have no children. After years of rejection and mismatched love affairs, I met the man I am with right now. He's sweet, caring we have insane amount in common and since this is about anxiety, a whopping big anxiety disorder. He has not had job since I've been with him (coming up on 2 years), he never leaves the house. He has no friends. He's no so fixated on me that I can barely leave the room. I see my work now as a place to hide. However I like being with him, but the overwhelming negativity day to day is killing me. 'Killing me' seems overly dramatic sounding, but I suffered from terrible long bouts (years) of depression in my past. I am in danger of slipping into depression, I know that my health is already suffered. I've gained 40lbs since I met him. I suffer from recurring infections. I'm in trouble. It helps to write this. The advice was good in the article. I need to follow it. If I was to read this from the outside I'd say walk away but he's simply the best match for me in untold number of ways that I have ever met. But I worry about my chances of having children, of him becoming an equal contributing partner so that can happen. Can he get better?? I’m 36 and have I supposed not been lucky in love, never been married and I have no children. After years of rejection and mismatched love affairs, I met the man I am with right now. He’s sweet, caring we have insane amount in common and since this is about anxiety, a whopping big anxiety disorder. He has not had job since I’ve been with him (coming up on 2 years), he never leaves the house. He has no friends. He’s no so fixated on me that I can barely leave the room. I see my work now as a place to hide. However I like being with him, but the overwhelming negativity day to day is killing me. ‘Killing me’ seems overly dramatic sounding, but I suffered from terrible long bouts (years) of depression in my past. I am in danger of slipping into depression, I know that my health is already suffered. I’ve gained 40lbs since I met him. I suffer from recurring infections. I’m in trouble.
It helps to write this. The advice was good in the article. I need to follow it. If I was to read this from the outside I’d say walk away but he’s simply the best match for me in untold number of ways that I have ever met. But I worry about my chances of having children, of him becoming an equal contributing partner so that can happen. Can he get better??

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